Let me say I am not a writer and definitely not computer literate, so when I was asked to start a blog by several people I wasn't sure it was something I would care to do. In my minds eye I could see the red marks all over my papers for puncuation and grammar which I didn't learn well. Then I decided that I would make the blog just a chronicle of dates. Today we got our appointment.... etc. It has become so much more for me.
I had no idea what a blessing, a comfort, and a resting place this would be where I can share all the very deep emotions and turmoil that adoptions create. I didn't know that our lives and our adoption on this blog would become so intertwined and would result in a story. Everyone who has commented I appreciate all your support and kind words, especially in the loss of my brother. God has sustained, comforted and given me a peace that can only be from his hand.
I truly consider it a blessing to have you along on this journey I wish I could respond to every comment but my time on the computer is limited here. Please know that every single one of you has sustained us with your prayers and your thoughts.
I don't know how much I will be able to write from here on out because we are at the end of the beginning. The Embassy has received our fingerprints from Washington. Starting today everything will be moving fast. We go to pick up Lena's birth certificate today about a 3 hour drive from here. Tomorrow I get to take our precious Lena from the orphanage. She is beside herself with excitment. We hope to leave tomorrow evening for Kiev and be at the Embassy for check-out on Thursday. If all goes right we hope to be on a plane home on Friday.
We give God all the glory for every single thing that has happened to allow us to bring home Lena Danielle! I will post new pictures when we get home.
Kasey Grace in ColorGuard
Kasey Grace in Colorguard
Dinner with half the kids
Brett, Dad, Kyle and Ryan
Dad, Kyle and Neiko
Kasey
Kasey loves to mismatch her socks
practicing in the yard
More practice in 110 degree heat this summer
sisters
Alesa on a mission trip
Daddy's girl
Julia our girlie girl
Julia
Zhenya doing what he does best-EATING!
Dad and Alesa, Julia, Kasey and Zhenya at the lake
Mom and Julia
Mom and Alesa
Alesa
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
All God's Children
In the beginning she watched from afar. Slowly over the days she moved closer, always on the outer edges but always there. Eventually she came to sit beside me; quietly. Now she waits for me to speak to her or even to notice her. Her beautiful hair and big dimples, her eyes the color of a blue green ocean. Lithe and tall she carries herself with an elegance that belies the conditions she lives in. At first I couldn't see the beauty of her heart because she seldom smiled, and truly not even the beauty of her face, as she kept the eye that is so crossed squinted up because she can see better that way and hopes others might not notice. Sometimes she will wear sun glasses to cover. Most times now she is dressed up and takes care with her appearance, and if I arrive sooner than expected she goes to change and then comes back to sit quietly. Never obtrusive or attention seeking. When it is time to leave she walks behind Lena and I and waves bye and gives a shy smile.
There are always those special orphans who stand out to individual families and she has become mine. Your heart is tugged by all of them but for me but in the end she is the one that I want to take home with Lena and I. This young lady has captured my imagination and heart over the past several weeks. I have pulled her out into the sunshine and she has basked in the attention.
We have slowly become friends and she sits a little closer and shares a little more. She loves to cook and to read, she knows a little English and tries to learn more. I tried to give her a dollar for an ice cream and she doesn't want to accept. She and Lena seem to be a nice compliment to each other and Lena doesn't seem to mind sharing me with her, although I am careful there.
I began thinking about the possibility of just one more to bring home. Envisioning how it might work and how we would arrange it. How we could get those beautiful eyes corrected something that would have been such an easy fix as a baby.
I inquired about her status and found out her age. I must face reality none of this will happen, not because of us, but because of our unjust system for the cut off age of orphans that we are allowed to adopt. She just turned 16 and can not be adopted. She has no family and no siblings to visit. The director said she is a sweet girl and hoped she could find a family before her time ran out. Maybe I can fund raise the money to get her eyes fixed. I must find some way to help her. She has overcome so much but it will be hard enough to make it in her future without the loss of vision as well
So many hurting children. There is another girl here that the girls shun and no one likes because she is mean. Sveta found out her mother sold her to her boyfriends. She explained to the girls that they need to be kind because she has a sad story. The girls were standing in a group and said, "Sveta we all have sad stories, if they were happy we wouldn't be here."
Thank God he gave us Lena in time with only a few months to spare before her 16th birthday and we can bring her home. She showed us her scars yesterday from being burned and then she told us her story. She asked Sveta if her fingers can be fixed, I said, I am not sure we will have to go to a plastic surgeon. The story about the very large scar on her stomach is so sad. I know we can definitely help fix her heart that has been broken but as for the physical scars I don't know. She showed us the skin that has been grafted from her leg for her hands. She said it was worse than it should have been because she was not taken to he hospital soon enough and infection set in her fingers. I kiss her fingers and see only perfection, and in her scars the ability to overcome so much.
There are always those special orphans who stand out to individual families and she has become mine. Your heart is tugged by all of them but for me but in the end she is the one that I want to take home with Lena and I. This young lady has captured my imagination and heart over the past several weeks. I have pulled her out into the sunshine and she has basked in the attention.
We have slowly become friends and she sits a little closer and shares a little more. She loves to cook and to read, she knows a little English and tries to learn more. I tried to give her a dollar for an ice cream and she doesn't want to accept. She and Lena seem to be a nice compliment to each other and Lena doesn't seem to mind sharing me with her, although I am careful there.
I began thinking about the possibility of just one more to bring home. Envisioning how it might work and how we would arrange it. How we could get those beautiful eyes corrected something that would have been such an easy fix as a baby.
I inquired about her status and found out her age. I must face reality none of this will happen, not because of us, but because of our unjust system for the cut off age of orphans that we are allowed to adopt. She just turned 16 and can not be adopted. She has no family and no siblings to visit. The director said she is a sweet girl and hoped she could find a family before her time ran out. Maybe I can fund raise the money to get her eyes fixed. I must find some way to help her. She has overcome so much but it will be hard enough to make it in her future without the loss of vision as well
So many hurting children. There is another girl here that the girls shun and no one likes because she is mean. Sveta found out her mother sold her to her boyfriends. She explained to the girls that they need to be kind because she has a sad story. The girls were standing in a group and said, "Sveta we all have sad stories, if they were happy we wouldn't be here."
Thank God he gave us Lena in time with only a few months to spare before her 16th birthday and we can bring her home. She showed us her scars yesterday from being burned and then she told us her story. She asked Sveta if her fingers can be fixed, I said, I am not sure we will have to go to a plastic surgeon. The story about the very large scar on her stomach is so sad. I know we can definitely help fix her heart that has been broken but as for the physical scars I don't know. She showed us the skin that has been grafted from her leg for her hands. She said it was worse than it should have been because she was not taken to he hospital soon enough and infection set in her fingers. I kiss her fingers and see only perfection, and in her scars the ability to overcome so much.
A time to laugh, a time to cry, and a time to bond
The last few days were so busy I have not taken the time to tell you how our sweetie Lena is doing. I did not get to see her much for two days because of my trip. I had to write about something funny yesterday because it was a reprieve from my grief.
We went to the orphanage and at first I didn't want Lena to know my brother had died because I know she has had enough sadness, and I want our visits to be happy. She knew my brother had gotten sick unexpectedly, but I hadn't shared with her how serious it was, and that was all she knew.
I under estimated her sensitivity and compassion. I had planned to tell her after we got home when I deemed the time was right. She obviously can already read my emotions, even though I thought I was covering well under the circumstances. I kept my sunglasses on, kept smiling, but she asked Sveta what was wrong, and Sveta in her wisdom, told her. I probably wasn't as good an actress as I thought, but she also is a very sensitive girl and picks up on others feelings quickly.
She came over and put her arm around my shoulder, and she teared up for me and an uncle she will never know. "Oh Mama, Oh Mama" and then she just held me with both arms wrapped as tight as she could around me, rocking me and kept rubbing my back. I let her comfort me even though that is not what I had wanted to happen because I wanted to protect her. In the end it was so right that she was told because even though we are here to take care of her, now that she is our daughter, she is a part of the family, and that includes the good and the bad. I was leaning on the only family member who could hug and comfort me in that moment, our daughter Lena. I was so glad I didn't have to pretend. A bonding moment that I almost denied both of us.
We went to the orphanage and at first I didn't want Lena to know my brother had died because I know she has had enough sadness, and I want our visits to be happy. She knew my brother had gotten sick unexpectedly, but I hadn't shared with her how serious it was, and that was all she knew.
I under estimated her sensitivity and compassion. I had planned to tell her after we got home when I deemed the time was right. She obviously can already read my emotions, even though I thought I was covering well under the circumstances. I kept my sunglasses on, kept smiling, but she asked Sveta what was wrong, and Sveta in her wisdom, told her. I probably wasn't as good an actress as I thought, but she also is a very sensitive girl and picks up on others feelings quickly.
She came over and put her arm around my shoulder, and she teared up for me and an uncle she will never know. "Oh Mama, Oh Mama" and then she just held me with both arms wrapped as tight as she could around me, rocking me and kept rubbing my back. I let her comfort me even though that is not what I had wanted to happen because I wanted to protect her. In the end it was so right that she was told because even though we are here to take care of her, now that she is our daughter, she is a part of the family, and that includes the good and the bad. I was leaning on the only family member who could hug and comfort me in that moment, our daughter Lena. I was so glad I didn't have to pretend. A bonding moment that I almost denied both of us.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The trip to Kiev
Thank you for each one of your comments and your prayers, they are working. I got up this morning and I have a calm and peace that I know can only come from God.
Because I am basically a postive person, and also know I have the love and support of my family, friends, and my God, this will sustain me and allow me to move forward to write on a more positive note.
My trip to Kiev was quite an event. Twelve hours in a cab with my favorite taxi driver Genna, you have to love a guy who everytime he sees you, kisses your hand with a theatrical flourish, and ushers you into his cab, I feel like Cinderella. He is a character that deserves his own story but that will have to wait until another time. He brought another driver so they could trade off driving. We left at 9 at night so we could get to the Embassy sometime in the morning. I have had Sveta translating for me continually so I never gave a thought to bringing my translation dictionary along. That is, until I had to go to the restroom. Now if you don't like potty talk please skip the next two paragraphs, but it was such an intregral and mostly funny part of my trip that I just have to tell it. You can call it the lighter but necessary side of life.
A few hours into the trip I asked for the toilet expecting a, da da, meaning they understood my request. WHAT? They were both acting like they didn't understand. Remember what I told you about how terrible I am at languages. Well, this is a perfect example, toilet in Russian is the same word as in English, except with a little more accent. So I repeated myself a little louder, still no understanding. Genna starts to get his cell phone out and dials I don't know how many different people trying to find someone who can understand what this crazy American is trying to say. I tried to call Sveta but by then we were in a dead zone for cell phones. Out of desperation I had even resorted to making water noises in the backseat in hopes that understanding would dawn, but to no avail. My 6th graders would have been proud!
We didn't stop and I learned a lesson in endurance. When we did stop at a gas station, no toilet in any language. So I stumbled out into complete darkness behind a building and placed natures call in tall weeds that gave cover and I prayed not some other biting crawling things. By the next stop it was daylight and they pointed to an outhouse of sorts. This thing looks like a rusted box! The door creaks open and the inside has tons of spider webs and other crawly insects. There is a hole in the ground for where the toilet should be, you stand on either side of this hole, but the problem is almost the whole floor is rusted through and you could see daylight about 10 feet down. I was so glad at this moment I hadn't eaten that extra bowl of pelmini, because from the looks, even one extra oz could have caused a plunge into the abyss never to be seen or heard from again. It was like walking a roulette game, one had to test the floor to see if it would be strong enough to hold before taking another step. Then once I achieved that goal, I realized I then had to pivot around in this tiny box so I could be facing the right way, every move made the box sway. Desperate situations calls for desperate measures, so I took my chances. Once in there I realized the door doesn't lock and this gas station is full of men. I held my nose, my pants and the door, while trying to maintain my balance and prayed the floor would not give way before I could exit. Then I laughed, if my friends could see me now!
We arrived in Kiev mid morning and I went in to get my fingerprints done by a very sweet young man. He explained to me that this happens all the time to families, fingerprints expire and they get updated at the wrong office because they didn't know or weren't informed. Very proudly he tells me that he has never had to redo a set of fingerprints after they are sent to the embassy in Washington. I thought, well you haven't worked with me, so I ask what happens if they aren't clear. I have already figured out how the odds are stacked against me on things going right the first, and even the second time, and what if Washington doesn't accept them? He matter of factly states, "then you come back to Kiev and get them redone and start the process again." Now this is not the thing to say to someone who has just spent the last 12 hours in the back seat of a taxi with little sleep. I stood there looking at him with my mouth hanging open, but what I saw was me rushing over grabbing him under the lapels of his shirt with his feet dangling off the floor, my crazed face up against his saying something along the lines of, if you wish to see your next birthday you will get these right!! Oh don't worry, In reality I just looked at him and said, please get these right, with a smile that if you looked closely enough had just a little bit of a menancing tone to it :) Just kidding, I was nice, after all my fingerprints are in his control.
On my way out I saw a lady holding the most gorgeous little blonde DS girl of about 4 or 5. I asked her if she was adopting and she said she was the grandmother, her daughter had just adopted this little girl. I asked if it was through Reeces Rainbow and she said yes it was. I told her that is where we found our Lena. I got called up just about the time I was going to ask her name so we didn't go any further but it was such joy in my heart to have had that small connection.
I will tell you about my trip back on another post!
Because I am basically a postive person, and also know I have the love and support of my family, friends, and my God, this will sustain me and allow me to move forward to write on a more positive note.
My trip to Kiev was quite an event. Twelve hours in a cab with my favorite taxi driver Genna, you have to love a guy who everytime he sees you, kisses your hand with a theatrical flourish, and ushers you into his cab, I feel like Cinderella. He is a character that deserves his own story but that will have to wait until another time. He brought another driver so they could trade off driving. We left at 9 at night so we could get to the Embassy sometime in the morning. I have had Sveta translating for me continually so I never gave a thought to bringing my translation dictionary along. That is, until I had to go to the restroom. Now if you don't like potty talk please skip the next two paragraphs, but it was such an intregral and mostly funny part of my trip that I just have to tell it. You can call it the lighter but necessary side of life.
A few hours into the trip I asked for the toilet expecting a, da da, meaning they understood my request. WHAT? They were both acting like they didn't understand. Remember what I told you about how terrible I am at languages. Well, this is a perfect example, toilet in Russian is the same word as in English, except with a little more accent. So I repeated myself a little louder, still no understanding. Genna starts to get his cell phone out and dials I don't know how many different people trying to find someone who can understand what this crazy American is trying to say. I tried to call Sveta but by then we were in a dead zone for cell phones. Out of desperation I had even resorted to making water noises in the backseat in hopes that understanding would dawn, but to no avail. My 6th graders would have been proud!
We didn't stop and I learned a lesson in endurance. When we did stop at a gas station, no toilet in any language. So I stumbled out into complete darkness behind a building and placed natures call in tall weeds that gave cover and I prayed not some other biting crawling things. By the next stop it was daylight and they pointed to an outhouse of sorts. This thing looks like a rusted box! The door creaks open and the inside has tons of spider webs and other crawly insects. There is a hole in the ground for where the toilet should be, you stand on either side of this hole, but the problem is almost the whole floor is rusted through and you could see daylight about 10 feet down. I was so glad at this moment I hadn't eaten that extra bowl of pelmini, because from the looks, even one extra oz could have caused a plunge into the abyss never to be seen or heard from again. It was like walking a roulette game, one had to test the floor to see if it would be strong enough to hold before taking another step. Then once I achieved that goal, I realized I then had to pivot around in this tiny box so I could be facing the right way, every move made the box sway. Desperate situations calls for desperate measures, so I took my chances. Once in there I realized the door doesn't lock and this gas station is full of men. I held my nose, my pants and the door, while trying to maintain my balance and prayed the floor would not give way before I could exit. Then I laughed, if my friends could see me now!
We arrived in Kiev mid morning and I went in to get my fingerprints done by a very sweet young man. He explained to me that this happens all the time to families, fingerprints expire and they get updated at the wrong office because they didn't know or weren't informed. Very proudly he tells me that he has never had to redo a set of fingerprints after they are sent to the embassy in Washington. I thought, well you haven't worked with me, so I ask what happens if they aren't clear. I have already figured out how the odds are stacked against me on things going right the first, and even the second time, and what if Washington doesn't accept them? He matter of factly states, "then you come back to Kiev and get them redone and start the process again." Now this is not the thing to say to someone who has just spent the last 12 hours in the back seat of a taxi with little sleep. I stood there looking at him with my mouth hanging open, but what I saw was me rushing over grabbing him under the lapels of his shirt with his feet dangling off the floor, my crazed face up against his saying something along the lines of, if you wish to see your next birthday you will get these right!! Oh don't worry, In reality I just looked at him and said, please get these right, with a smile that if you looked closely enough had just a little bit of a menancing tone to it :) Just kidding, I was nice, after all my fingerprints are in his control.
On my way out I saw a lady holding the most gorgeous little blonde DS girl of about 4 or 5. I asked her if she was adopting and she said she was the grandmother, her daughter had just adopted this little girl. I asked if it was through Reeces Rainbow and she said yes it was. I told her that is where we found our Lena. I got called up just about the time I was going to ask her name so we didn't go any further but it was such joy in my heart to have had that small connection.
I will tell you about my trip back on another post!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
In Loving Memory
I am back from my 26 hour train ride to Kiev. Through the night on the drive I was in touch with my mom as my brother was going into surgery. When I returned back at the apartment and finally fell into bed I was awakened with a phone call from my husband. The surgery did not go well my brother has an infection throughout his body and wasn't expected to make it through the night. I called the hosptial because I knew I would never make it home in time to say good-bye. I had my mom hold the phone to his ear so I could talk to him. We have not shared the same beliefs and I have always prayed for him. I won't go into details it was very hard for me to talk, but I mangaged to say I love you so much, Jesus loves you so much, please give your heart to him, and then I barely forced out a few whispered childhood endearments that we shared. How do you say goodbye to a loved one over the phone or otherwise? I can only hope he heard me and that he made his peace with our saviour and now rest in his arms.
I talked to him the night I left and he and my mom were coming at the end of summer to see us. My brother was going to come out with my mom for a few weeks to visit while she was taking care of the girls while we were gone. Then my mom had gotten sick so they couldn't travel. This is why our sons stepped up to watch the girls for us.
We decided I should not go home we need to bring Lena home as soon as possible this is what my mom wants us to do. My family is taking care of my mom and flying out to be with her now.
They are taking him off life support soon. Please pray for my family and the peace for me to get through this being so far from home.
I talked to him the night I left and he and my mom were coming at the end of summer to see us. My brother was going to come out with my mom for a few weeks to visit while she was taking care of the girls while we were gone. Then my mom had gotten sick so they couldn't travel. This is why our sons stepped up to watch the girls for us.
We decided I should not go home we need to bring Lena home as soon as possible this is what my mom wants us to do. My family is taking care of my mom and flying out to be with her now.
They are taking him off life support soon. Please pray for my family and the peace for me to get through this being so far from home.
Monday, July 20, 2009
God is in control
I am getting ready to leave in the taxi. I feel much better then my last post. I have prayed through this and my wonderful friend and facilitator talked with me. She said, this is a hard delivery but look at the exceptional girl you are getting. She is extra special and God is in control of even these situations. She is so right and now I am refocused where I should be-on God. This blog has been wonderful therapy for me just to get it all out. So much emotion and it is so nice to be able to unwind here. Thanks to all of you for your comments and following I praise God for you. Rhonda
Very Discouraged
Everything I have tried to do on this adoption has been fraught with delays and road blocks. I am sitting here right now trying to remain positive in the face of continuing difficulty. I just found out that the embassy will not accept my fingerprints even though we have the originals. I have to go to Kiev tonight because we can not delay one day, once again a 12 hour taxi trip, which we had to do only a few weeks ago. This ride through the night is no piece of cake.It is too late to catch a train or a plane and I need to be there tomorrow to get to the embassy. So another all night taxi ride to the embassy and turn around and 12 hours back. Then I have to wait another 10 days on top of the 10 day waiting period from court to get my fingerprints sent to Washington and get sent back here. Mark is working from the states to see if he can shorten this wait time for me. Bless his heart he just got in from leaving here and I had to wake him up this morning with this great news.
I got a call this morning that my brother is in intensive care with kidney problems. I believe I am under spirtiual attack and have been since we started this process. Please pray for patience for me, for my brother, and for me to not be discouraged. I am hot, tired and just plain worn out from the continual problems. I will not be posting for a few days until I return. I would covet your prayers. Rhonda
I got a call this morning that my brother is in intensive care with kidney problems. I believe I am under spirtiual attack and have been since we started this process. Please pray for patience for me, for my brother, and for me to not be discouraged. I am hot, tired and just plain worn out from the continual problems. I will not be posting for a few days until I return. I would covet your prayers. Rhonda
Sunday, July 19, 2009
No more count down
I am not counting the 10 days down anymore because we really don't seem to be sure when they will end. Our 10 days are supposed to end on a Saturday but I just found out that they won't end until Monday because of the weekend. Then the offices may be closed on Monday which means I still can't have Lena. She and I were counting down the days until yesterday and then we decided we just don't want to do it any more. It seems so far away! Our prayer now is that this region still has the old passport system because that and $600 will get us out in a day. If they have the new system it could take another 10 days. Sveta seems to think they still have the old system so please pray for us that they do.
The other wonderful family that has been here with us is getting ready to leave on Tuesday. It has been nice having them here and I will miss them. We were always at the orphanage together visiting our daughters. I think it will be really hard on Lena when the other girl leaves as they are friends. The good news is they live only 3 hours from us so we plan on visiting.
Lena has waited so long and every day she is more anxious to go. We were pretending yesterday to look around to make sure no one was watching and then she was pretending to jump in the trunk of the car so she could leave. She is the most affectionate and loving child. She looks at me with such adoration, lays her head on my shoulder and with the most contented smile says, "mama". Sveta says she loves watching us together and it tickles her when she sees Lena doing this because she does it with such happiness and possession "look everyone, I have my mama and she loves me." She will just sit and touch my arms and face then give me a kiss and squeeze me. As for me, I just adore her back and want to hug the stuffing out of her.
It is good that Mark will finally be home today and I am sure Brett will like the relief. He told me this morning that he and Julia, our 13 year old, had their first "fight" since we have been gone. She wanted to open a can of chili (they are eating so healthy I am sure) and he told her to wait until dinner. When he went to the other room she opened the can. Big brother was not too happy when he returned. He was so incensed "mom, I looked right at her and told her no and she defied me anyway". Welcome to parenting 101! Wait until he has a two year old. hee hee! I figure this is just good training. He said he told her off about not listening and she slammed off to her room. Julia if you are reading this you need to mind Brett! He ended the conversation by saying they are all made up now. Which I wasn't surprised they both like peace and harmony and don't like anyone mad at them.
I am off to the orphanage which has become an endurance test in withstanding the heat, the biting flies and mosquitoes, and watching many precious children who will probably never have a home roam around and around a broken down asphalt lot. Then leaving Lena for another day. Please pray for me because this is very difficult to do every day and it usually takes a few hours after we leave to work out of the funk I get in thinking about those kids.
The other wonderful family that has been here with us is getting ready to leave on Tuesday. It has been nice having them here and I will miss them. We were always at the orphanage together visiting our daughters. I think it will be really hard on Lena when the other girl leaves as they are friends. The good news is they live only 3 hours from us so we plan on visiting.
Lena has waited so long and every day she is more anxious to go. We were pretending yesterday to look around to make sure no one was watching and then she was pretending to jump in the trunk of the car so she could leave. She is the most affectionate and loving child. She looks at me with such adoration, lays her head on my shoulder and with the most contented smile says, "mama". Sveta says she loves watching us together and it tickles her when she sees Lena doing this because she does it with such happiness and possession "look everyone, I have my mama and she loves me." She will just sit and touch my arms and face then give me a kiss and squeeze me. As for me, I just adore her back and want to hug the stuffing out of her.
It is good that Mark will finally be home today and I am sure Brett will like the relief. He told me this morning that he and Julia, our 13 year old, had their first "fight" since we have been gone. She wanted to open a can of chili (they are eating so healthy I am sure) and he told her to wait until dinner. When he went to the other room she opened the can. Big brother was not too happy when he returned. He was so incensed "mom, I looked right at her and told her no and she defied me anyway". Welcome to parenting 101! Wait until he has a two year old. hee hee! I figure this is just good training. He said he told her off about not listening and she slammed off to her room. Julia if you are reading this you need to mind Brett! He ended the conversation by saying they are all made up now. Which I wasn't surprised they both like peace and harmony and don't like anyone mad at them.
I am off to the orphanage which has become an endurance test in withstanding the heat, the biting flies and mosquitoes, and watching many precious children who will probably never have a home roam around and around a broken down asphalt lot. Then leaving Lena for another day. Please pray for me because this is very difficult to do every day and it usually takes a few hours after we leave to work out of the funk I get in thinking about those kids.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
DAY 3: Lena
We pulled up in the parking lot of the orphanage today, and Lena did not act happy at all. She seemed very sad. I asked her what was the matter, and Sveta translated that she is very unhappy that she has to stay at the orphanage during this time. She is ready to begin her new life, and yet she is stuck in this hot, very hot building, and parking lot.
Can you say BOREDOM, there is nothing I have experienced that I can give you a comparison for how these kids spend their days. Think of the most boring day in your entire life, and then think of it happening every day of summer. Routine over and over again, nothing changes, everything is the same day after day. Even fun things would become boring after doing them the same every day. Can you imagine if there is nothing to do to start with?
Today I witnessed a girl of about 14 sitting with her grandmother. This little tiny woman with her scarf on, bent and walking with a limp. I wondered what fate in life has caused her to have to visit her granddaughter in an orphanage? How many tears has she cried because life handed her such hardships? How fine is the line between her and I?
Not all children in an orphanage are orphans, some of them can not be cared for by their families, and they have no choice but to put them here. One of the teachers handed the girl a phone, and suddenly she began to sob and scream. Apparently, she was hoping to see her mother for the weekend, but for reasons unknown she was denied the request. She bent over in her grandmothers lap, and just cried. I can't imagine my children wanting to see me, and not being able to be in my arms within a short period of time.
There is a boy here his name is Zhenya, and he has the greenest eyes and the sweetest disposition. Everyone loves him, from the teachers to our taxi driver. Any time his name comes up, everyone has three words, "very good boy." He helps clean up and he takes care of the younger children. He is not involved with the other boys so much, he seems to keep to himself, because sometimes the older boys will go out and smoke and carouse around the orphanage and he doesn't care to be a part of this behavior. Zhenya is 15, and I can't help thinking about him and his future. What lies beyond the orphanage walls for an orphan is worse than the life they have now. I am praying that a miracle can happen for this boy!
It is so hot and no air in our apartment. The chocolate that we bought today was melted before we opened it. I am now in a perpetual state of sweat, and it is amazing, but I am actually getting used to it. I grew up in the south a long time ago, and there was no air conditioning. This reminds me of hot summer days with a cold lemonade glass pressed against your breast to alleviate the heat. There is a song called "Summertime and the Living is Easy" if you go back a few years in our history when we didn't have air, and the katydid bugs and crickets sang a melodic song, and we chased lightening bugs through long hot summer nights, you may understand why this is really not all so painful for me.
Life can be wonderful and at times very painful. Right now God has allowed me time to revisit my past in a way I never would have volunteered for. No air conditioning? Are you crazy? Yet, I have time to listen to the sounds of the summer night through the open window, sounds that have long ceased to be in my existence, but have now been ressurected, a distant memory that is enjoyable, probably more so, because I know I can visit the memory and do not have to stay here. I am thankful for so much that he has given me and how far he has brought me and not because I have air conditioning now, but because somewhere in my life I didn't!
For all that I see, and all that moves my heart, even the sad parts, I come away touched and changed, and once again thank God, that he, our great creator, has given us such an opportunity as this. What a glorious experience to share this part of his world, and his creation. It gives me chills that not only can we share in it, but we actually get to take the best part home with us. What greater gift can man ask for, then to have God allow us a hand in the future of his children. To be entrusted with this, humbles me, and never ceases to amaze me, that we, who are made in his image, be allowed to help mold his children.
Can you say BOREDOM, there is nothing I have experienced that I can give you a comparison for how these kids spend their days. Think of the most boring day in your entire life, and then think of it happening every day of summer. Routine over and over again, nothing changes, everything is the same day after day. Even fun things would become boring after doing them the same every day. Can you imagine if there is nothing to do to start with?
Today I witnessed a girl of about 14 sitting with her grandmother. This little tiny woman with her scarf on, bent and walking with a limp. I wondered what fate in life has caused her to have to visit her granddaughter in an orphanage? How many tears has she cried because life handed her such hardships? How fine is the line between her and I?
Not all children in an orphanage are orphans, some of them can not be cared for by their families, and they have no choice but to put them here. One of the teachers handed the girl a phone, and suddenly she began to sob and scream. Apparently, she was hoping to see her mother for the weekend, but for reasons unknown she was denied the request. She bent over in her grandmothers lap, and just cried. I can't imagine my children wanting to see me, and not being able to be in my arms within a short period of time.
There is a boy here his name is Zhenya, and he has the greenest eyes and the sweetest disposition. Everyone loves him, from the teachers to our taxi driver. Any time his name comes up, everyone has three words, "very good boy." He helps clean up and he takes care of the younger children. He is not involved with the other boys so much, he seems to keep to himself, because sometimes the older boys will go out and smoke and carouse around the orphanage and he doesn't care to be a part of this behavior. Zhenya is 15, and I can't help thinking about him and his future. What lies beyond the orphanage walls for an orphan is worse than the life they have now. I am praying that a miracle can happen for this boy!
It is so hot and no air in our apartment. The chocolate that we bought today was melted before we opened it. I am now in a perpetual state of sweat, and it is amazing, but I am actually getting used to it. I grew up in the south a long time ago, and there was no air conditioning. This reminds me of hot summer days with a cold lemonade glass pressed against your breast to alleviate the heat. There is a song called "Summertime and the Living is Easy" if you go back a few years in our history when we didn't have air, and the katydid bugs and crickets sang a melodic song, and we chased lightening bugs through long hot summer nights, you may understand why this is really not all so painful for me.
Life can be wonderful and at times very painful. Right now God has allowed me time to revisit my past in a way I never would have volunteered for. No air conditioning? Are you crazy? Yet, I have time to listen to the sounds of the summer night through the open window, sounds that have long ceased to be in my existence, but have now been ressurected, a distant memory that is enjoyable, probably more so, because I know I can visit the memory and do not have to stay here. I am thankful for so much that he has given me and how far he has brought me and not because I have air conditioning now, but because somewhere in my life I didn't!
For all that I see, and all that moves my heart, even the sad parts, I come away touched and changed, and once again thank God, that he, our great creator, has given us such an opportunity as this. What a glorious experience to share this part of his world, and his creation. It gives me chills that not only can we share in it, but we actually get to take the best part home with us. What greater gift can man ask for, then to have God allow us a hand in the future of his children. To be entrusted with this, humbles me, and never ceases to amaze me, that we, who are made in his image, be allowed to help mold his children.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Count down DAY 2
I am going to begin counting the 10 days down, not because I don't love Ukraine I do, but I miss my other kids and it is that much closer to Lena being truly ours, and we can bring her home to her new life.
I woke up this morning with Mark calling after he had just come from the Embassy. They informed him that Lena and I would not be allowed to leave the country until we had up-dated our finger prints. Now you folks that have been involved in this process know that you have been medically examined to death over the course of a year or so, and none of us could ever commit a crime because we have fingerprints done every time we turn around.
How could we not have up-dated fingerprints? Luckily for us we have a copy of our dossier, everyone should keep an extra, I can't recommend it strongly enough. So I went and looked and sure enough (thanks to my organized hubby) they were there in our dossier and were up-dated. Our embassy just couldn't find them. By the way, this has happened to other people as well so have copies of everything. Otherwise I was going to have to take a 16 hour train to Kiev to get fingerprinted, then they had to send it to Washington and it could take 10 or more days to get them back.
We were told to scan our copy or e-mail them, seems easy enough, right? Wrong, I am reminded all the time of how spoiled we are in the U.S. Sveta had a taxi driving us around town all afternoon to find some place that could do it. Then after we found a place we sent them, and now she is worried about the papers all getting there because scanning sometimes doesn't work. Since it is Friday we won't know until Monday whether everything got there OK, please pray for us on this one.
We consider ourselves to be culturally sensitive, and we try very hard to respect the fact that not everyone lives like we do, but sometimes I still manage to put my foot in it. I forgot my contact lens solution. No problem I will buy some here. I told Sveta what I needed and we went to about every store in town. No one had any, so I asked Sveta "how in the world do people clean their contacts? There must be solution somewhere!" Very gently she said, "Rhonda, people here do not wear contacts they are very expensive." I began to look around and noticed something I have never noticed in all my trips over here. You hardly ever see anyone in glasses, even the elderly people. You can see that many people are missing teeth, or have had very poor dental care, but poor eye sight is not something you would notice. We are so blessed by such abundance, we should be thanking God everytime we can go to the dentist or put on glasses and contacts.
I have tried to comment on some of your blogs that I follow but unfortunately I haven't figured out how to do it in English it prints out in Russian. I appreciate your comments.
I woke up this morning with Mark calling after he had just come from the Embassy. They informed him that Lena and I would not be allowed to leave the country until we had up-dated our finger prints. Now you folks that have been involved in this process know that you have been medically examined to death over the course of a year or so, and none of us could ever commit a crime because we have fingerprints done every time we turn around.
How could we not have up-dated fingerprints? Luckily for us we have a copy of our dossier, everyone should keep an extra, I can't recommend it strongly enough. So I went and looked and sure enough (thanks to my organized hubby) they were there in our dossier and were up-dated. Our embassy just couldn't find them. By the way, this has happened to other people as well so have copies of everything. Otherwise I was going to have to take a 16 hour train to Kiev to get fingerprinted, then they had to send it to Washington and it could take 10 or more days to get them back.
We were told to scan our copy or e-mail them, seems easy enough, right? Wrong, I am reminded all the time of how spoiled we are in the U.S. Sveta had a taxi driving us around town all afternoon to find some place that could do it. Then after we found a place we sent them, and now she is worried about the papers all getting there because scanning sometimes doesn't work. Since it is Friday we won't know until Monday whether everything got there OK, please pray for us on this one.
We consider ourselves to be culturally sensitive, and we try very hard to respect the fact that not everyone lives like we do, but sometimes I still manage to put my foot in it. I forgot my contact lens solution. No problem I will buy some here. I told Sveta what I needed and we went to about every store in town. No one had any, so I asked Sveta "how in the world do people clean their contacts? There must be solution somewhere!" Very gently she said, "Rhonda, people here do not wear contacts they are very expensive." I began to look around and noticed something I have never noticed in all my trips over here. You hardly ever see anyone in glasses, even the elderly people. You can see that many people are missing teeth, or have had very poor dental care, but poor eye sight is not something you would notice. We are so blessed by such abundance, we should be thanking God everytime we can go to the dentist or put on glasses and contacts.
I have tried to comment on some of your blogs that I follow but unfortunately I haven't figured out how to do it in English it prints out in Russian. I appreciate your comments.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Before, Between, COURT, and Beyond....
We flew into Kiev on Monday. Sveta picked us up and we had 12 hours until we caught our plane to the region. She took us to lunch at a place that looked liked an oasis. The wait staff were all in traditional dress. It had a huge pond, and was ringed by gazebos and little cabins that were all different and done in Ukrainian decor. Each one had only one table, so you felt like you were in your own little world. Beautiful Ukrianian music drifted around the gorgeous flowers planted throughout the garden setting. I imagine there must be a place in heaven like this.
Unfortunately, we were completely exhausted so our enjoyment was short lived, because as soon as we ate we started to nod off. We had several hours before our flight, and we couldn't keep our eyes open. There were two swings large enough to lie in, so they brought out cushions and Mark and I fell alseep with the breeze gently blowing over our worn out bodies. Maybe, Sveta knew this is what we would need before the next part of our journey. She said, she was watching over her two American babies as they slept, and rocked in the swings :)
We went back to the airport and waited another 6 hours because our flight was delayed (surprise, surprise) Sveta has sworn I am carrying bad "delay" mojo when it comes to flying.
When we were on approach into the region, it was very late. I was emotionally drained and exhausted; we had been at this going on over 40 hours. As I looked out over the twinkling lights, I was thinking, here we are in the middle of the night almost on the border of Russia. Our children are all home going about daily business, and I suddenly felt doubt. These little thoughts that are nothing more than vapor, and have been silent and inconsequential on a regular day. They have no substance, until without notice ,they start to assault and began to take form.
I looked over, I couldn't tell Mark what I was thinking because I was afraid by giving voice to these things then it makes them more tangible. DOUBTS? What doubts? How could I possibly have doubts? This is what we have been working towards for over a year and a half, and we are almost to the summit.
It is much easier and nicer to share the positive, but honestly many people have doubts at one time or another along the way. I won't share the mundane details of mine, because in the end they don't matter, but lets suffice it to say they were rather ordinary in nature; relationships, resources, balancing acts, etc.
The plane touched down and I left the doubts behind. I knew that our destiny and Lena's had been intertwined from the beginning of time, and there is nothing more secure than knowing God was the master orchestrator of her becoming our child.
We arrived the next day at the orphanage and Lena came running at full speed, and threw herself into our arms with such sheer joy on her face. There were tears and hugs all around.
She is a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful girl. We had left her some money and she bought a gift for me. It was a bracelet, and so much thought had been put in to buying it, even her presentation was so endearing it brought tears to my eyes. Bracelets are my signature jewerly. I have had one on my wrist most everyday since high school. She presented this to me and I was so touched because she had noticed the fact that I wear them often. Like her, the bracelet was tasteful and very elegant. God, I love that child!
Yesterday was our court day. We arrived first, and soon after Lena came in wearing the pretty dress that Alesa had carefully and thoughtfully selected for her. We did not bring shoes I didn't have her size. She was in high heels and obviously not used to them, she got out of the taxi and tried to run for us as she always does, but realized she needed to concentrate on staying on her shoes, so she tottered towards us instead. Cute!
Lena was so nervous, she asked Sveta several times if there was any way they might say no to the adoption. Sveta kept assuring her that it would all be fine. She was not the only one who was nervous. When they asked Mark and I why we wanted to adopt her, and Mark gave a very moving answer, I was in tears, lots of sentimental tears during births and adoptions. As I gave my answer I could hardly get the words out I was so emotional . Lena was between us and she reached and took both of our hands and laid her head on my shoulder I think the judge, jury, and prosecutor could see that she was our child that we had finally found. One of the ladies on the jury was wiping her eyes. There were no more questions after that!
We went to the judges chambers and were served refreshments. Everyone was so nice and we enjoyed this time. Sveta has a way with people that makes them love her. The judge invited us to her country home this weekend.
We went and took care of paper work to apply for a passport, and then took ice cream, Snickers bars, and juice to the orphanage. Lena decided what she wanted served at her celebration party. She is a Snickers girl I knew I loved her, but Snickers really sealed the deal!
Mark left on the train today to return home and I am staying to wait out the 10 day period. Sveta made him sandwhiches for the train ride she spoils us so much. She is absolutely the best!
Sveta asked the orphanage director if we could have Lena during the 10 day wait, but the director said no. We will go visit her everyday.
There is a girl here she is 12 but looks to be about 8 or 9. I have seen a lot of kids at these orphanages but this little girl is a stand out. I would love to adopt her. The other orphanage kids told us she is really nice. In fact another family is here with their daughter who was adopted from this orphanage and she said Alona is "the perfect child". You can't get a stronger recommendation that that. I have pictures if anyone is interested in adopting her and we will find out this week if she is available. Honestly, she was out with a broken arm our first time there because if we had met her earlier I think she would have had to come home with us. :)
Unfortunately, we were completely exhausted so our enjoyment was short lived, because as soon as we ate we started to nod off. We had several hours before our flight, and we couldn't keep our eyes open. There were two swings large enough to lie in, so they brought out cushions and Mark and I fell alseep with the breeze gently blowing over our worn out bodies. Maybe, Sveta knew this is what we would need before the next part of our journey. She said, she was watching over her two American babies as they slept, and rocked in the swings :)
We went back to the airport and waited another 6 hours because our flight was delayed (surprise, surprise) Sveta has sworn I am carrying bad "delay" mojo when it comes to flying.
When we were on approach into the region, it was very late. I was emotionally drained and exhausted; we had been at this going on over 40 hours. As I looked out over the twinkling lights, I was thinking, here we are in the middle of the night almost on the border of Russia. Our children are all home going about daily business, and I suddenly felt doubt. These little thoughts that are nothing more than vapor, and have been silent and inconsequential on a regular day. They have no substance, until without notice ,they start to assault and began to take form.
I looked over, I couldn't tell Mark what I was thinking because I was afraid by giving voice to these things then it makes them more tangible. DOUBTS? What doubts? How could I possibly have doubts? This is what we have been working towards for over a year and a half, and we are almost to the summit.
It is much easier and nicer to share the positive, but honestly many people have doubts at one time or another along the way. I won't share the mundane details of mine, because in the end they don't matter, but lets suffice it to say they were rather ordinary in nature; relationships, resources, balancing acts, etc.
The plane touched down and I left the doubts behind. I knew that our destiny and Lena's had been intertwined from the beginning of time, and there is nothing more secure than knowing God was the master orchestrator of her becoming our child.
We arrived the next day at the orphanage and Lena came running at full speed, and threw herself into our arms with such sheer joy on her face. There were tears and hugs all around.
She is a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful girl. We had left her some money and she bought a gift for me. It was a bracelet, and so much thought had been put in to buying it, even her presentation was so endearing it brought tears to my eyes. Bracelets are my signature jewerly. I have had one on my wrist most everyday since high school. She presented this to me and I was so touched because she had noticed the fact that I wear them often. Like her, the bracelet was tasteful and very elegant. God, I love that child!
Yesterday was our court day. We arrived first, and soon after Lena came in wearing the pretty dress that Alesa had carefully and thoughtfully selected for her. We did not bring shoes I didn't have her size. She was in high heels and obviously not used to them, she got out of the taxi and tried to run for us as she always does, but realized she needed to concentrate on staying on her shoes, so she tottered towards us instead. Cute!
Lena was so nervous, she asked Sveta several times if there was any way they might say no to the adoption. Sveta kept assuring her that it would all be fine. She was not the only one who was nervous. When they asked Mark and I why we wanted to adopt her, and Mark gave a very moving answer, I was in tears, lots of sentimental tears during births and adoptions. As I gave my answer I could hardly get the words out I was so emotional . Lena was between us and she reached and took both of our hands and laid her head on my shoulder I think the judge, jury, and prosecutor could see that she was our child that we had finally found. One of the ladies on the jury was wiping her eyes. There were no more questions after that!
We went to the judges chambers and were served refreshments. Everyone was so nice and we enjoyed this time. Sveta has a way with people that makes them love her. The judge invited us to her country home this weekend.
We went and took care of paper work to apply for a passport, and then took ice cream, Snickers bars, and juice to the orphanage. Lena decided what she wanted served at her celebration party. She is a Snickers girl I knew I loved her, but Snickers really sealed the deal!
Mark left on the train today to return home and I am staying to wait out the 10 day period. Sveta made him sandwhiches for the train ride she spoils us so much. She is absolutely the best!
Sveta asked the orphanage director if we could have Lena during the 10 day wait, but the director said no. We will go visit her everyday.
There is a girl here she is 12 but looks to be about 8 or 9. I have seen a lot of kids at these orphanages but this little girl is a stand out. I would love to adopt her. The other orphanage kids told us she is really nice. In fact another family is here with their daughter who was adopted from this orphanage and she said Alona is "the perfect child". You can't get a stronger recommendation that that. I have pictures if anyone is interested in adopting her and we will find out this week if she is available. Honestly, she was out with a broken arm our first time there because if we had met her earlier I think she would have had to come home with us. :)
Saturday, July 11, 2009
On the road again
This was a song, but now it seems to be the story of our summer. We are once again packing up to leave, but this time we will come home with our Ukrainian treasure - Lena!
Lena called us yesterday - I love the phone communication between us, me; "Lena" very excited, her; "Mama" me; "I love and miss you" her; "I love you" then giggles and silence on both ends. So much for us to say and no words. Now that our kids here have all learned English, I forget this period of time of what we call the "caveman communication" - Hand gestures, but not much help over the phone, the Russian/English dictionary, also not much help over the phone. I can't even use my best form of communication when all else fails, a big hug or a touch. They seem to learn the language so quick that I forget the frustration and also the fun of communication in the beginning. I hand the phone to the girls and they chat to her like they are old friends.
For those of you who have learned some Russian to communicate with your child in the beginning, please don't be hard on me. I am terrible at languages, not that I haven't tried, but my kids have begged me to give up. Our first four pleaded with me not to sing. I would rock them when they were little and sing to them. My dreams of rocking and singing my babies to sleep came to an abrupt end when my three month old tried to make a fist and bop me in the mouth so I would stop the awful noise. Sort of the same story with the second set of kids, only this time it is language not song and they don't bop me, they just go into hysterics when I try my Russian on them.
This will be our last adoption which makes me sad, kind of like the last baby I knew I would ever nurse. We know it and we are ready for it, but sometimes the last of anything can make one a little teary eyed and since I cry over all my childrens' first times, last times, successes and failures this will be no different. Then we move on because we must and we enjoy the next stages as much as we enjoyed the last. My kids tell me that I always say, "this is my favorite age" - now it is a family joke because it seems that each age is my favorite age.
Now we begin the journey of a last stage only to return to begin a new one. Life is precious and exciting and I love this path God has set before us.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sibling Connections
I have been so busy since I have been home that I have neglected my blog. We are now getting ready to leave again so I need to do a quick update.
We have spent lots of time with our kids and it is obvious they missed us very much. We have decided that being gone did have its advantages because they bonded and taught each other things while we were away. Zhenya taught Alesa to play the guitar. Brett is teaching Julia to swim. Kyle our college son tried to teach everyone that it is OK to sleep until noon sometimes (one lesson we had to reteach). Seriously it is so heart warming to see how close they all became during our absence. Our older kids have not been living at home since the girls arrived and haven't had much time with them so this was very special that they really got to know each other. Zhenya was here before everyone started leaving so we call him our bridge between the two sets of kids. Since our first 4 are no longer living at home getting them all together if it isn't a holiday is hard with school, work, distance etc. Mark and I feel like we are raising two families, our first, and then our second.
For any empty nesters out there I highly recommend the second family. You get to re-do it again and I actually think the wisdom you have gained from the first set is an advantage. We were strict with our first two children and they always remind us how the two younger ones got away with more than they did, and they are right!
Now that we are older and wiser we have reached a balance in parenting, at least that is what I am telling myself. I don't think you ever get it perfect but it sure is fun getting to do it again. For example, the wonderful day we spent with them bowling, eating hamburgers at the local greasy joint, and then going to the movies. The hugs and kisses, and having teens who think you are so awesome that a great day for them is spending time with their parents. You can't beat the pay back on that one. If we were empty nesting, as we would be if God hadn't given us other plans, we could be soaking it up in the Caribbean, at least that is what the brochures tell me empty nesters do. Instead we were jumping off the side of our friends boat over 4th of July into a giggling mass of kids. I will take the lake plunge any day over the other choice :)
I am so glad we were able to come home and spend this time with our children it has been priceless.
Brett missed us enough to come and visit several times even though he soon has to return as full time baby sitter. This time he won't have his brother helping because Kyle went back to college for the summer session. Zhenya will have to step up which won't be hard because he is such a great guy and he and Brett make a great team.
Lena called (we left her a phone) and thankfully Mark and I and the girls were all together when she called. Lena is so friendly that she just started chatting away to the girls. They told her they can't wait to meet her and gave details about some of the fun things they have planned when she arrives. It was a successful conversation even though our girls struggled a little with speaking to her in Russian, and then accidently reverting to English during the conversation, lots of giggles at the mistake, and then going back to Russian. Alesa is very quiet and Julia is very talkative so we think Lena will fall somewhere in the middle of the two. We are so excited to watch this new relationship develop, this phone call was the first contact, and it couldn't have been more perfect. It lasted quite a long time and seemed like they already knew each other.
Connections are being made between many hearts this summer. We give God all the glory!
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