The final outcome

I left off in the middle of my story on the last post. I wanted to tell it in parts because there was so much to put down and I had to recapture all the memories. I needed to re-walk the steps of this whole incredible journey.

For those of you who have adopted you know the anxiety of waiting. You wait to get your paperwork, you wait to get the approval, you wait to get submitted, you wait to get your travel date, and you wait to get the call or the e-mail that you finally have been invited to come. Our wait was magnified because we had to redo a lot of our paperwork that was expiring, and then wait until February to find out if the SDA would ever even accept our dossier. I can't begin to tell you how excruciating that time period was for us. We also applied for me to travel as a single married since we didn't know for sure when we would go. This adoption would be our 5th time out of the country and Mark was needed at work.

We knew it was a long shot to be able to bring Karina home, after all how did it look to them, we had disrupted and we were wanting to adopt again. We knew the how and why, but would they understand it? Karina coming back into our lives at one of the worst possible times for us to even consider adopting again. We never had a problem with anyone questioning our motives we understood that, we knew what it looked like to the uninformed, but we did not understand someone such as Ms Jackson who did not even have all the facts straight trying to take away a future for Karina essentially assigning her a bleak life and most likely an early death warrant. Life doesn't always go as we mapped it out does it we didn't plan for it but we found ourselves in an unusual situation? If it always goes smoothly then we don't appreciate or see the work God can do in our lives. He uses the circumstances of our situations to show his divine glory and faithfulness to all involved.

Did I ever tell you we have the most fabulous facilitator in the world and that she is a miracle worker!! She and God got our dossier accepted in February! We now had less than a month to get the invite to travel as Karina turned 16 in March. Once again we were a case of nerves to get this far now we just had to have that appointment before March 14th when she would age out and not be allowed to come to the United States.

Karina by this point was calling Sveta everyday asking if her adoption would happen. We finally got our invitation and our embassy appointment on March 14th which was Karina's 16th birthday, and the very last day we could file for her. Is God good or what! The SDA appointment was two days later and I received her file.

When we arrived at Karina's orphanage I heard this scream and saw Karina running towards me I started running just as hard in her direction and we flew into each others arms with both of us crying. We held on so tight because we both knew how close we had come to never seeing each other again. Karina had been kept apprised of the whole situation by this time and knew how precarious this adoption was going to be.

Unfortunately, we were not out of the woods yet. Even though I had quit writing on my blog and had shut down my Facebook somehow CJ found out we had made it to Ukraine and actually called the SDA while we were there wanting to know if we were there adopting. I truly felt like I was in some kind of international spy novel and was being stalked. We thought will this never end so we can breathe freely again. They told her they couldn't give her any information about the families in process.

However, the SDA then got a case of the jitters and no one wanted to be the person who would give the release of our paperwork for court. As one of my sweet blogging friends mentioned in the comments, after all the negative publicity on adoptions gone awry no one wanted to take responsibility to give the release. Sveta went and begged but to no avail and it was looking grim, like I was going to have to go home without Karina. Our only hope was the judge, and at first she seemed reluctant we had to wait 24 hours for her decision as to whether she would proceed.

Karina was calling wanting to see me, but I couldn't even bear to face her, what if we lost, what if I had to say goodbye? What if I had to return home without her? I couldn't stop crying and I didn't want her to see me that way. This was the most unbearable two days of my life.

Karina had already made the two hour bus trip to say goodbye to her grandmother. I can't even imagine what that was like I saw the pictures and they ripped my heart out. Her 86 year old grandmother crying and each picture she seemed even smaller and more vulnerable than the one before. She would call Karina and beg her not to leave Ukraine. I think I aged 10 years during that time. Everywhere I turned there was so much sadness, but my own seemed to be drowning out all else.

I cried out on my face before God. Please help us you called us here. I lost faith one night, are you there God? Did you even want us here? Why did you allow it to get this far? We aren't bad people our hearts have always been in the right place why all the problems? I even started questioning the whole adoption calling I felt so unworthy and battle worn. I felt like a terrible person and a worse parent. Why did you choose us why? You can not imagine the pit of my despair. I wrestled with it all night and finally I turned it over to God and said your will be done we have no control over this, and by morning light my God answered all my questions. I could feel his presence as if he were holding me in his arms. He assured me, do not worry you will have your court today, and I thought but Lord Sveta said it would be days out, even if we can get one at all. Then the peace which transcends all understanding came over me. I walked out and said to Sveta, God told me the judge will give us a positive answer and court will be today. She looked at me a little incredulously and said, let's pray it does happen. I said, don't worry Sveta it will happen today and I am sorry I lost my faith for a day or so that was wrong never ever doubt God.

She went out to speak with the judge and I went in to get ready for the court that against all odds God had promised me would happen that very day.

Sveta returned two hours later where I was ready and waiting, and said you must hurry the judge approved the petition and we have court in 2 hours. I was ready because God had assured me this was the day the Lord had made for Karina to become ours.

I don't know Ms Jackson but I wanted her to know when God wants something to happen nothing will stand in the way!

Karina became our daughter 3 years and 6 months after God laid her on our hearts.
She wanted a new name and she chose Kasey Grace and she has been home with us for 3 months. She is absolutely precious in every way, but I shall save that story and her pictures for my next post.
Praise God from whom all blessings fall!